Sep 112009
(asked by Kevin B.C. from somewhere)
Do you have any tips on asking out and dating a French woman?
How do you ask a French woman out?
Mmmm… Pretty much like you ask any woman out… You could invite her for a coffee, a movie, a dinner, an exhibit, a cool spot nearby, etc. There are countless possibilities depending on what’s around you and what she and you both like.
Concerning tips about dating, the answer about dating a French man is full of general tips for dating French people regardless of their gender.
But before you go beyond the point of no return, I gotta warn you about a few things… and maybe some more.
David,
Congrats on being mentioned/linked in The Frisky!
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-365-days-in-paris-le-french-dating-part-i/
The Frisky is such fun.
Yes, I saw that (I had never heard about the site before), what's surprising/scary, is that it has boosted the traffic here much more than the mention in Newsweek Online did a couple of weeks ago.
Ask a Frenchwoman out the way you would any non-French woman! But the word 'date' makes me think you are American, and I have to say French people don't really 'date'. When I lived in the US, I could never get my head around what the difference was between asking someone on a date, 'dating' them and being 'exclusive'. It always sounded kind of juvenile to me, but I mention it just because if you are going out with a Frenchwoman, she won't necessarily have the same kind of mental map of what comes next etc.
I also need to mention the sex thing, which was also a puzzle to me in my American life. I could go on for hours about American sexual hang-ups, or the expectation by American men that you would be reluctant to have sex early in a relationship (and when this 'early' ends), but I'll just say, sex is generally less of a big deal for French women, who haven't grown up with the same kind of puritanism. If you're going to shocked by that, try not to let it show, because it's kind of depressing to see.
I was waiting for your opinion…
But you're not saying anything new from my infamous "how do you date a French man?" topic… ;-D
Thank you Nathalie! That is exactly how I feel about this whole dating American men thing. So freakin' complicated….. French are are exactly what you and what Mr. Frenchman say: easy! No work, exactly what it is, it is! What a novel concept! Try doing that at 50+. I feel I'm in High School here. FĂ©licitations et bonne chance!
Catherine, I beg a to disagree a little.
The dating rules in America are quite confusing at first, but once you understand them it makes dating much easier than in France really.
Or maybe that's just because American girls are easier to read that French women, but French men are easier to read than American men, I don't know…
(more on that in the original dating topic, and in an upcoming one)
Therein that implies, to date American men, we need to be who they want us to be; then we have no problem. However, we American women need to understand there are no rules in dating French men. Making all the game playing and double standards, just an American male hang up. Hence… go date a Frenchman! Whew!
David, I’m disappointed that you can only articulate 3 sentences on this topic. I understand why, however, as you have already explained that you have no interest in females from your own country. As an American I find la femme francaise difficult and childish compared to American women, but they easily trump Americans in the departments of general education, class, style, physique, manners, romance, lovemaking and spontaneity. In my opinion they have far more attractive qualities.
I have to say that it is absolute torture to see so many beautiful girls in Paris and not being able to approach them cold. Even worse are French women that in the US would easily be 9s and 10s that are attached to such dorky looking French guys. In the US, girls generally appreciate making an effort with a blind approach, even if you have never before met. In Paris if you do this, generally they look at you like you’re going to steal their purse. This is, of course, if you can first get through her 5 friends that would rather die than stop talking.
Maybe there really is nothing more to say about this. It sucks that there are cute girls everywhere but the only way that you will ever be allowed to talk to them is if you already know one of their friends.
See, you said it yourself. There isn’t much to add to this.
>> the only way that you will ever be allowed to talk to them is if you already know one of their friends.
I semi-remit this statement. There are sites like OVS that help you cut through some of that nonsense.
I don’t know OVS (a google search lead me to an agriculture supplies website, I don’t think this is what you were referring to) but I assumed it’s a dating website. And yes, they are hugely popular in France, especially in Paris. Which is kinda messed up when you think about it. Back in the days, it was weirdos and socially inept people that would use these sites. Nowadays it’s perfectly normal people that won’t talk to the person next to them in a bar or other public place for fear of being mistaken for a perv or a slut depending on your gender, but will talk and date that very same person through a website.
Messed up…
Opps. Sorry. I was referring to this site.
http://www.onvasortir.com/
I found it to be the French answer to being forced to do everything in groups.
Not my thing, but yeah those kinds of sites are becoming popular in France.
The first and most important thing you need to do to ask a French woman, is you need to learn to speak French! That is, if you don’t know.
Well, there are French women that speak English, aren’t there?
i think all women are the same they have a good sense on identifying whose a player or the sincere but they also have this tendency to switch the two.
just treat a woman with respect and dignity then maybe she’ll go out with you.